Uncategorized

040 – confidence hiding under susceptibility to achievements

ricvolpe
May 25, 2022
227 Comments

Some say that you don’t need a niche, but just need to be prolific, to create a lot, in order to find content that resonates with a given audience. As I report their advice here, I notice that I haven’t understood it. Worryingly, I was ready to follow it.

I feel surrounded by advice that translates into internal expectations. On top of that, there are also explicit expectations that aren’t even framed as advice but simply put as performative requirements.

Expectations are tiring. They feel stale and unrewarding. Yet they seem so central in the society we live in.

I guess expectations wouldn’t be so annoying if we look at them as proposals and invitations rather than requests or requirements. In improv there is this dynamic where one of the actors put forward an idea and the other is expected to respond to it. But really, this expectation is more like an invitation and a proposal. The responding actor is free to respond to it in whichever way they want and they feel like evolves the scene in an interesting way.

Likewise, if we look at expectations and advices in life as invitations and proposal to consider this or that, they lose their annoying power and become like, hum, even potentially interesting.

However, there is a problem, even when we take expectations and advices as proposals, when we receive thousands of them in a day, when we are overwhelmed and overflowing of advices and invitations, it becomes very hard to skim which ones we truly want to respond to and why and which ones aren’t that important for us, or maybe just not now.

And this is not an hypothetical. We live immersed and overwhelmed in an amount of information that is far far beyond what we are able to process and make sense of. It is natural when drowning in this ocean of information, advice and expectation, to start respond automatically to some, just because they seem right at face value, and forget to question them because there is no time as new information is already coming in.

So we enter this daily cycle of accumulating expectations and feeling somewhat guilty for not meeting them. We feel guilty for not meeting something that we haven’t even figured out we care about. How silly is that?

A way to respond to this trouble that seems to make sense to me is to be more intentional and advocate greater agency for oneself. The key move resides in the initial attitude. It requires to courage to say: “I am going to live my day in my own terms, to focus on what matters to me and to do what makes me happy and allow me to live a life that I consider good”.

Starting with this mental stance, allows us to then interact with anything that surface to us as: “Is this relevant to how I want to live? Can it help in any specific way?” If the answer is not a “fuck yeah!” and maybe just a “not now”, then we can move on and maybe, maybe, we have own a duty to ourselves to move on.

Mind you, this requires thinking through what is a life that we consider good and throwing a lot of self-acceptance and that. If we orient towards a good life normatively, without accepting and taking into consideration what we want and crave without specific reasons, we will eventually stifle ourselves into disciplined unhappiness and lose any motivation and internal alignment over time.

Thus, after this sermon, I can take a more introspective stance and ask myself two questions:
(1) – How does a good version of my life looks like?
(2) – What advices and expectations irrelevant to (1) do I easily fall for?

My good life

How does a good version of my life looks like?

Reflective. There are ample and supportive spaces and times to ponder and reflect on what is happening and what interesting moves I can take about it. Such as this one.

Beautiful. I proactively respond to the calls of Quality and make myself available to be a conduit in whatever I do. I develop software of good quality, both in terms of its functioning, maintainability and value that it brings to user. Same for anything else I do: I express Quality when doing it. Every moment of my life is a work of art.

Fun. I pay attention to energise and enjoy myself. I do things playfully and lightly. There are no mistakes, just new inputs for doing something new. I live my life like an improv scene. I openly accept and admit that I have no idea where I am going.

Social. I seek people that I like being with and create Quality social moments with them. I learn about others people in all their nuances and facets and let the fact that we are present at the same time shape my life and express itself through it.

Inquisitive. I stand by curiosity. I investigate things without expectations of what will come out of my investigation. I learn for the sake of learning. I dig, dig, dig.

Experimental. I try things out. I take on tolerable risks. I figure out how things work by trial and error. I take actions to see my ideas through.

Confident (see below for where this emerged). I take care of the conviction I need to be experimental. I create conditions of safety and confidence that give my surrounding a feeling of possibility and momentum. I care and preserve my momentum so that things keep happening.

Expectations that stand in the way

What advices and expectations that are irrelevant to living my good life do I easily fall for?

Achievement (big one). I am very susceptible to any advice and expectations that points to some kind of achievement and, usually undefined, success. Achievement is usually a strategic tool useful to live lives we consider good, but I easily fall for it because achieving gives me confidence. So perhaps, I just need to recognised that I need to feel confident? If I accept that I my good life feels confident, then I can seek this explicitly and not getting crowded out seeking confidence at the unaware expense of other things that are important, but I can more openly balance our this value with others.

Interesting realisation, this one, that my good life also feels confident, positive and hopeful. It makes a lot of sense when looking at it retrospectively form the vantage point of this realisation. Wonderful! I am happy of having discovered this. Now I can care for and design for this value and need.

227 thoughts on “040 – confidence hiding under susceptibility to achievements”

  11. Pingback: 3undergrowth

  33. zoritoler imol

    After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Pls check out my web site as well and let me know what you think.

    Reply ↓
  42. sepornews

    Whats up very nice site!! Guy .. Excellent .. Amazing ..
    I will bookmark your web site and take the feeds additionally?
    I’m satisfied to seek out a lot of useful info right here within the
    publish, we’d like work out extra techniques in this regard,
    thank you for sharing. . . . . .

    Reply ↓
  52. slot depo dana

    Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; we have developed some nice practices and we are looking to swap methods with others, please shoot me an email if interested.

    Reply ↓
  67. zoritoler imol

    I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself? Plz reply back as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know wheere u got this from. thanks

    Reply ↓
  80. Playslot77

    I like what you guys are up too. Such smart work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my website đŸ™‚

    Reply ↓
  82. Sensaslot88

    Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be at the web the easiest thing to take into account of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed even as other folks think about worries that they plainly don’t realize about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the highest and defined out the whole thing with no need side effect , other people can take a signal. Will likely be again to get more. Thanks

    Reply ↓
  111. slot anti rungkat

    you are in point of fact a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is amazing. It seems that you’re doing any unique trick. In addition, The contents are masterwork. you have done a excellent process in this topic!

    Reply ↓
  114. red boost

    Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you so much, However I am experiencing
    problems with your RSS. I don’t understand the reason why I am unable to join it.
    Is there anybody having the same RSS problems? Anybody who
    knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanks!!

    Reply ↓
  137. website to get likes on instagram

    Great blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost
    on everything. Would you propose starting with a free
    platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There
    are so many options out there that I’m completely overwhelmed ..
    Any tips? Appreciate it!

    Reply ↓
  139. buy fake followers on tiktok

    Hey there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering which blog platform
    are you using for this website? I’m getting sick and
    tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and
    I’m looking at alternatives for another platform.
    I would be fantastic if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

    Reply ↓
  146. buy instagram followers uk

    Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole
    my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a
    forty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.

    I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

    Reply ↓
  201. BEP-20 Token Creation

    Excellent beat ! I would like to apprentice whilst you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog website? The account helped me a applicable deal. I were a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered shiny clear concept

    Reply ↓
  208. MichaelLof

    To presume from true to life scoop, adhere to these tips:

    Look fitted credible sources: http://arendaizrail.com/robin/what-news-does-balthasar-bring-romeo_1.html. It’s material to safeguard that the news outset you are reading is worthy and unbiased. Some examples of virtuous sources include BBC, Reuters, and The Fashionable York Times. Review multiple sources to get back at a well-rounded sentiment of a isolated statement event. This can improve you listen to a more over paint and keep bias. Be aware of the viewpoint the article is coming from, as even respected news sources can be dressed bias. Fact-check the dirt with another fountain-head if a communication article seems too unequalled or unbelievable. Till the end of time make persuaded you are reading a known article, as scandal can substitute quickly.

    By means of following these tips, you can evolve into a more aware of news reader and more intelligent apprehend the world about you.

    Reply ↓
  213. Davidemops

    Positively! Find news portals in the UK can be unendurable, but there are scads resources available to cure you mark the unmatched identical for you. As I mentioned already, conducting an online search an eye to https://morevoucher.co.uk/js/pages/1how-old-is-jean-enersen-king-5-news.html “UK news websites” or “British story portals” is a great starting point. Not one desire this give you a encompassing slate of hearsay websites, but it will also provide you with a punter pact of the in the air story prospect in the UK.
    Aeons ago you have a itemize of potential account portals, it’s prominent to gauge each sole to choose which best suits your preferences. As an exempli gratia, BBC Advice is known in place of its disinterested reporting of information stories, while The Custodian is known for its in-depth breakdown of partisan and popular issues. The Disinterested is known for its investigative journalism, while The Times is known in search its work and finance coverage. During understanding these differences, you can choose the news portal that caters to your interests and provides you with the news you have a yen for to read.
    Additionally, it’s significance all in all neighbourhood news portals for proper to regions within the UK. These portals provide coverage of events and news stories that are akin to the area, which can be especially helpful if you’re looking to keep up with events in your town community. For event, local dope portals in London classify the Evening Standard and the Londonist, while Manchester Evening News and Liverpool Repercussion are stylish in the North West.
    Blanket, there are many news portals available in the UK, and it’s high-ranking to do your research to unearth the united that suits your needs. By evaluating the contrasting news broadcast portals based on their coverage, variety, and article angle, you can judge the one that provides you with the most apposite and attractive low-down stories. Meet fortunes with your search, and I anticipation this tidings helps you discover the perfect news broadcast portal for you!

    Reply ↓
  223. wwd.com

    Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts.

    Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you
    access consistently fast.

    Reply ↓

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *