diary, non-doing, present, purpose

012 – Being present to my environment, people, self and reality (requires non-doing)

ricvolpe
October 9, 2021
171 Comments

What has been present for me lately?

Enviroment

I have set up for myself a very empowering living and working space in Glasgow. My studio has a spacious standing workstation, an ergonomic chair for when I am tired, a projector for easy watching with integrate speakers for listening, a whiteboard and a zabuton-zafu meditation cushion for expanding awareness. Overall, it is pretty awesome. The desk gets a bit wobbly when I type furiously by hey ho, maybe a good reason not to type furiously.

People

Next, I would like to make my space more connected with other people. Use its empowering energy to create value for me and others. Chatting with Amir on Tuesday was a good start

Anna is a strong spirit in this regard. What she has done with The interintellect is inspiring

This feeling led to my new pinned tweet. Which is a bit of a lazy choice since I am opening the door for others to contact me instead of reaching out myself, which is probably what I may do next, but let’s see if the pinned tweet itself produces anything

Introspection

I have been introspecting a lot lately, mostly prompted by Visakanv and Malcolm Ocean. I have been asking myself the following

  • What is something I want to see more of in the world?
  • What is my odd obssession? The thing I cannot not to do that if I focused on I would be maximally powerful, productive and useful?
  • What can I do in public semi-constantly for 10 years so that it compounds over the threshold at which “big magic” starts to happen?
  • What is a vision or project that I care about but it’s not happening? What parts of it do I not want to do?

I think that the reason why I feel attracted to these questions is that I am craving a sense of mission and purpose. I am craving knowing what I want to create and to clearly execute against it. I sometimes feel worn out by the sense of uncertainty around what I am doing and why. I feel like my life is slipping through my fingers and I have no control over its value.

Some things I noticed regarding the above questions are

  • I want to see more loving kindness
  • I want to see more ability to change one’s perspective and appreciate differences
  • I would like to see more empowering social media that is designed to optimise individual and collective well-being
  • I am oddly obsessed about organising things such as environments, processes, software, notes and content

Now that I recognised all this, I don’t really know what to do about it, which is mildly disappointing. As I wrote, I was attracted by these questions because I thought they would help me gain clarity on what to do with my time, but I don’t feel they have helped that much.

And so I felt like I was trying very hard to get better and clearer answers to the questions above. Better in the sense that once I’d have those answers what to do would become instantaneously clear and precise. But trying very hard to answer introspective questions leads nowhere. Is like trying to squeeze out answers from a child who just wants to play. You don’t get better answers and end frustrated.

The only option I have left is to accept the unavoidable feeling of flux and uncertainty. I cannot control the meaning and the purpose of my life. I can dance and laugh and enjoy both the meaningful and the meaningless moments.

Non doing

The whole thing of “trying hard to do what I cannot not do” is as weird as it sounds. If it is something that I cannot not do, then it makes no sense that I am trying hard to find it and do it. Once you look at it in this way, it clearly appears as a paradox.

Hence, the key is often to undo, unlearn and give space. This is how what we cannot not do emerges and manifests when it is given the space to just be. This is why loving and trusting oneself is so important, because it is upon that trust that we give space to things and then we simply accept what comes up and we energetically and vividly engage with it.

This also seems to be one of the core ideas of the Alexandre Technique, which I have been exploring a little this week. Non-do what the first impulse tells you to. Sit back, observe, let your engagement with reality build up.

How can I reconcile this with the principle of doing what is important instead of what is urgent? Simple, don’t do what’s urgent. Maybe it will “unurge” itself and suddenly appear not urgent.

171 thoughts on “012 – Being present to my environment, people, self and reality (requires non-doing)”

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